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Whether you've been looking forward to this day for years or dreading it, the day your youngest child moves out of the house is a major life change. Psychologists say, for some, it can be as stressful as the death of a loved one or the end of a marriage. Others are able to embrace the change and jump into the next stage of life with excitement and passion. Everyone handles it differently - and that's OK.
What's not OK is letting an empty nest get you down and keep you down. Psychologists and empty nesters have developed a number of coping mechanisms to get through the difficult transition from "full house" to "empty nest." So, if you find yourself sitting alone in your child's empty bedroom wishing she were six again, give one of these tips a try.
Talk About It
It's important to acknowledge what you are feeling. You might feel sad or a loss of purpose. It's normal to feel this way. Find someone to talk to about it - maybe your spouse or a good friend. You might even seek out a professional counselor or support group. You'll be surprised how many people are going through the same thing.
Make a Difference
For years you've probably made raising your kids the biggest part of your life. You've likely defined yourself as a parent first and found your sense of worth in taking care of the kids. Many empty nesters feel like they've lost their purpose. But you undoubtedly have skills and gifts that can help others. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or hospital. Walk dogs at the local animal shelter. Read books for the blind. Soon you'll find there are many new ways you can make a difference in the world.
Exercise
It's a fact: Exercise releases natural hormones that can make you feel better. That's why psychologists often recommend exercise to people who are depressed. And exercise can be good for empty nesters too. It provides a distraction from your worries about the kids. It helps you relieve stress and usually increases your self esteem. It helps you sleep better and feel in control, which can be problems for empty nesters.
Get Involved
Now is the time to take up a new hobby, join a new group, volunteer at a non-profit organization, go back to school, learn the piano, get a job, travel the world. Do the things you've always wanted to do, but haven't had enough time.
Keep In Touch
Find creative ways to keep in touch with your kids. If you don't use email, get a computer and learn to use it. Set up a personal, toll-free 800 number so the kids can always call you for free. Learn to text message and instant message your kids if that's their preferred mode of communication. Send care packages from home; kids are never too old for cookies from mom.
Find Other Kids To Nurture
Offer to babysit for young couples with toddlers. Volunteer at the church nursery. Open a daycare business. Tutor neighborhood kids. Read books to children at the library. Help out at your area child abuse prevention organization. You were successful in raising your own kids - now you can help others!
Rekindle Romance
There are benefits of an empty house! Take time to get reacquainted with your spouse. Long walks, romantic dinners, last minute trips - they are all possible now that the kids are on their own.
Write it Down
Sometimes it helps to keep a journal and write down what you are feeling. Even if you never read it, it's therapeutic to get your feelings out on paper. You might discover something new about yourself in the process - or maybe an unknown writing talent!
Put Yourself In Their Shoes
Remember: While you may be mourning your empty nest, your son or daughter is experiencing one of the most exciting adventures of his or her life. Find a way to show them you are excited for them! They'll be more likely to stay in touch and share their adventures with you.
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